All this time, I think I got it all wrong. I’d been actively pursuing God, searching for Him in nooks and crannies. Trying to figure out what it meant to be a Christian and behave as a Christian, based on what others have done. Even emulating Jesus Christ was still a bit far off-base (not that it’s a bad thing to follow his teachings!).
You know how sometimes when you wake up from a long slumber, you wake up to a sticky crust on your eyelashes, glueing your eyelids shut? (Bear with me on this one, yes I know, it’s kind of gross and my writer-ancestors are probably rolling in their graves).
One of the devotions that I’ve read recently from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers has absolutely opened my eyes. You can’t chase God. You can’t make Him work according to your schedule. You have to let Him work in you. When the time comes, He will open your heart and do wonders in you. There isn’t anything you can do. He will instill the Holy Spirit into you, gracing you with a thirst for His Word and a desire to know Him more. Everything else will come so naturally — the prayer, the devotions, the worship, the praise. I think that for ages and ages, many people have tried to replicate the effects, when they hadn’t fully experienced the cause. I say that because I was one of those people.
It’s like someone scratched all the gross stuff away and splashed your face with rejuvenating water, leaving you young and fresh-faced and dewey-eyed! (iiii probably could’ve used a better analogy. Sorry! I’ll leave it to that and maybe come back later.)
So, what do you do in the meantime? Well…I’m still trying to figure that out. I’m not sure. Aside from urging all to opening your mind, ears, and heart to the Word of God from Him and his disciples, I don’t think I have the jurisdiction nor the knowledge to offer any other advice. No single man or woman’s journey is the same as another’s. Don’t give up and don’t lose hope, however, just because someone else’s experience/relationship with God is radically different or seemingly “faster” than yours!
Anyways, I have to hit the hay now (it’s 1:35 AM! Yikes!). I’ll come back to this and perhaps edit it a bit, but I got all that I was thinking out there 🙂 If anyone of you readers are out there, let me know what you think! Tell me if you think I’ve got it all figured out completely wrong, or on the flip-side, if you’ve felt this way too. I want to hear what you all have to say about it! Thank you and gute nacht.