All this time, I think I got it all wrong. I’d been actively pursuing God, searching for Him in nooks and crannies. Trying to figure out what it meant to be a Christian and behave as a Christian, based on what others have done. Even emulating Jesus Christ was still a bit far off-base (not that it’s a bad thing to follow his teachings!).

You know how sometimes when you wake up from a long slumber, you wake up to a sticky crust on your eyelashes, glueing your eyelids shut? (Bear with me on this one, yes I know, it’s kind of gross and my writer-ancestors are probably rolling in their graves).

One of the devotions that I’ve read recently from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers has absolutely opened my eyes. You can’t chase God. You can’t make Him work according to your schedule. You have to let Him work in you. When the time comes, He will open your heart and do wonders in you. There isn’t anything you can do. He will instill the Holy Spirit into you, gracing you with a thirst for His Word and a desire to know Him more. Everything else will come so naturally — the prayer, the devotions, the worship, the praise. I think that for ages and ages, many people have tried to replicate the effects, when they hadn’t fully experienced the cause. I say that because I was one of those people.

It’s like someone scratched all the gross stuff away and splashed your face with rejuvenating water, leaving you young and fresh-faced and dewey-eyed! (iiii probably could’ve used a better analogy. Sorry! I’ll leave it to that and maybe come back later.)

So, what do you do in the meantime? Well…I’m still trying to figure that out. I’m not sure. Aside from urging all to opening your mind, ears, and heart to the Word of God from Him and his disciples, I don’t think I have the jurisdiction nor the knowledge to offer any other advice. No single man or woman’s journey is the same as another’s. Don’t give up and don’t lose hope, however, just because someone else’s experience/relationship with God is radically different or seemingly “faster” than yours!

Anyways, I have to hit the hay now (it’s 1:35 AM! Yikes!). I’ll come back to this and perhaps edit it a bit, but I got all that I was thinking out there 🙂 If anyone of you readers are out there, let me know what you think! Tell me if you think I’ve got it all figured out completely wrong, or on the flip-side, if you’ve felt this way too. I want to hear what you all have to say about it! Thank you and gute nacht.


2 thoughts on “Awakening.

  1. Wow, you’ve described my experience. There have been a lot of people and books that have helped me on my own journey. One such book is “Absolute Surrender,” by Andrew Murray. I remember Murray saying something very similar to what you have said in your post, that there is really not much we can do by our own efforts. But if we have a sincere desire, God will honor our desire and begin to work changes in our lives. That’s one thing that has kept me going on my journey; a near-constant desire to completely surrender my life to God. And I’ve actually experienced moments of absolute surrender to the Holy Spirit within me – there’s no better way to live.
    Thanks for the great post. Cheerio

  2. One statement is enough for a mature and evolved spirit to understand the immortal importance of a sentence, of a written line, due to its indestructible invaluable content that teaches how the spirit should act to develop the inner God, or to turn into Spirit and Truth, or to realise in it the teachings of the Bible – YOU ARE GODS.
    There are people who devour books, searching for religions, sects and banners, listening to the incarnate and the discarnate, but they do not change inwardly and do not really blossom… They are like mediocrity that goes around the PERFECTION, without ever reaching it…
    The Exemplary Word warned these people, by saying: “The Kingdom of God is inside each one, it does not come with external signs.”
    Therefore, those who do not know how to LOOK FOR THEMSELVES, and have not FOUND THEIMSELVES yet, will have to search high and low, hovering unhappily, in the kingdom of emptiness and painful doubts.
    An old initiatic saying teaches: “The good disciple awaits doing good.”
    The Exemplary Word also taught: “Upon your patience you shall build your souls.”
    These abstracts say to the immature, to those empty spirits: “Learn how to run to your inner self, because it is there that God has placed His Divine Virtues, which, when blossomed, will make you a TOTAL ONE, GOD IN GOD, BECAUSE NO ONE WILL BE CHILD OF GOD ETERNALLY.”
    However, let us remember these wise words: “One word to those who understand it is worth a whole speech to those who do not understand it.”

    All the best. With love, Neil.

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