I’ve come to terms with myself. I’ve accepted the reality, and I’m not going to lie to myself anymore.
I was a liar before. I never truly loved Him. If I loved Him, I would have had an unquenchable thirst for His words, a blazing flame craving Him to be within my heart.
I am a sinner. I don’t know the Bible. I don’t act the way a child of God should. I don’t truly love God.
But I want to.
I want to be better. I want to experiment with life, seeing His works upon this Earth. I want to meet God, introduce myself. I want to become that friend that says “Hello” every time I think of Him. I want to get to know Him better and better through long, meaningful conversations. I want to learn what He believes by studying His word. I want to spend time getting to know Him and who He is. And then…I will love Him.
This love will be an earnest, genuine, passionate, burning Love with a capital L. This love won’t be one that’s forced, because I want a get-out-of-Hell free card. This love won’t be one of guilt. This love won’t be one of “Oh, I want to impress my friends and adults and make everyone admire me for how holy and devout I am.”
This love will be a genuine love.
And it will be real.